nobody pees in la.

my most recent vist to hollywood ended with a surprise. as me and the boyfriend were walking back to the car he realized his bladder was full and he wanted to relieve himself. he targeted on a specific bush lining the sidewalk. there were a few cars driving up and down the street but there was no major traffic so it seemed like a good idea. but something told me not to let him pee there, so i begged him not to. instead, i decided to throw my half-full coffee in the bush. after what seemed like a millisecond later, a raspy, deep voice screamed from the bush, "HEYYY!" a head poked out and it was an angry bum. i would be angry too if someone just threw cold coffee on me and my home. bodeck told me to run, so i did, thinking the bum was going to chase us to the car and stab us with a sharpened toothbrush or a plastic knife. i don't think i've ever run so fast, but i'm not surprised i did because if you have ever seen the bums in la, you'd do the same. i literally almost shit my pants, but the whole ordeal was a big joke once we got safely in the car after locking all of the doors. so what did i learn from this experience?: the next time i litter, i'll make sure i look where i throw. he's lucky it wasn't a lit cigarette.